They Eat Fungus Don’t They?

I was photographing mushrooms, when I noticed something under one large toadstool. I became very excited. I thought of all the folklore and legends that I’d read growing up. I thought perhaps it was a gnome or a fairy. Then I put on my glasses and took a closer look. It was a slug. I didn’t know that slugs actually ate fungus, too. Nothing is safe from those slimy vermin.

This whole mushroom thing led me to think of another question: Have you ever seen a toad sitting on a toad stool? This could be a Steven Wright joke, but I’m no sure. (Here is a Steven Wright joke for sure: “Why don’t they make planes out of that black box material?” But I digress.)

According to legend, toads sit on mushrooms—causing them to become poisonous. Now what kind of bad rap is that? Toads are great for the garden. They eat slugs. So, I encourage them in my garden. There is no way they poison mushrooms.

No. Mushrooms are poisoned by gnomes.

Gnomes are sneaky. During the day, they pose as bad garden art and at night they wreak havoc in the garden and loiter around under toadstools.

Yes. I did a lot of research about these disdainful little creatures. Some people think they’re good, but if you recall, in the Harry Potter series they were garden pests.

According to Wikipedia:
The Gnome is a common garden pest found throughout North America and northern Europe. Its body is out of proportion, its head is too big, and it has sharp claws and bony feet. It grows to about 12 inches tall. I wouldn’t be surprised if gnomes are in cahoots with the slugs—and probably snails too—trying to pass the poison-mushroom blame onto poor innocent toads.

In the movie, Amélie, the eponymous character taunts her father with a garden gnome, and in The Full Monty, Dave taunts Gerald with his own garden gnome.

So there you have it: Gnomes are sneaky, mean, and pesky. They also travel way too much to be much help in the garden.

So be careful when those thoughts of buying some cute little ceramic creature to hide under your geraniums creeps into your head. The garden you save could be your own.

Just in case you do get carried away: The Muggles Guide to Harry Potter suggests that the most popular method of removing a gnome from a garden is to pick it up, spin it around until it is dizzy, and then throw it over a garden wall. I found three in my garden left over from the previous owner, and I can attest to the fact that—IT WORKS.

I have a theory about how people came up with these stories about toadstools, gnomes, and little magical people.

The reason is that way back when, hungry people experimented with eating different kinds of mushrooms. Some people died, some people lived and some people expanded their imaginations.

When the men on the chess board
get up and tell you where to go
And you just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know

—Grace Slick

Stumble It!

Comments

[misti]

What an interesting post! I love finding mushrooms in the garden but have never seen a slug on one. Though, could be because I don't see very big mushrooms usually. I love the gnomes in HP. They are hilarious and the interaction between the Weasley's and them is fantastic.

[chigiy]

Misti,
I love finding them too. There is something magical about how they pop up out of no where. And I haven't been eating them, I swear.

[Aiyana]

Well, now I know more about garden gnomes and mushrooms than I did 5 minutes ago! Interesting info, and as usual, humourous! Happy New Year,
Aiyana

[Mark]

I'm quite convinced that pixies under the control of wood nymphs are the main culprits and i dont think sprites are beyond causing a bit of trouble....

[Carol]

There are more garden fairies than gnomes in my garden. Whenever a mushroom pops up in the middle of my yard, I try to mow around it. They make good shelter and rest stops for the 'wee ones' as they cross the great expanse of grass!

Great post, Happy New Year,
Carol, May Dreams Gardens

[Curtis]

Maybe the toad is on the mushroom so it can spot those nasty slugs, in order to see them coming. As far as gnomes. I was contemplating on buying one of those ceramic ones. But now, now way! :)

[chigiy]

Aiyana,
I still love your name.
I'm glad that I could be the one to educate you in the ways of the little garden creatures. It's important.

Mark,
Since Pixies and Sprites are so closely related and are know trouble makers, it is possible that the wood nymphs, which are larger and stronger of mind could be controlling them. I will have to look into this. I am sure however that gnomes are evil and not to be trusted.

Carol,
You are so sweet to mow around mushrooms. You know that if their habitat is destroyed they could become indangered.

Curtis,
I'm so glad that you read my post before you went out and purchased an evil gnome.

[professional pest control supplies]

very interesting. pests are really unpredictable!