Fear, Loathing and the Potato Bug

It all started with a big, ugly, slimy bug that my kids found in their bathroom cabinet. How did it get into their bathroom cabinet? I don’t know and I don’t want to think about it or I may start screaming and I wont be able to stop.
Yes three days ago my two boys came running out of their bathroom screaming “Mom, There’s a potato bug in the bathroom.” My eight year old looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said “Mommy, with you please get that bug out of my bathroom.” I looked down at him reassuringly and said “No.”
Ick, are you kidding? I was raised with snakes. I’ve had rats and ferrets, lizards and Opossums. I’ve held alligators and hissing cockroaches, Giant millipedes and walking sticks. But I wont touch a potato bug, otherwise known as a Jerusalem cricket
They are creepy.

I told my kids to just leave it in the bathroom until their dad came home. My son said, “But daddy’s on a business trip and he wont be home for three days.” The bug was in the cabinet, so I said “they move slowly just close the door and leave it there.” My son was afraid that it might get out and crawl into his room. I must confess I thought about that too since I had no idea how it got into his cabinet to begin with.
I went in their bathroom later just to take a look. I peaked around the corner and saw that my sons had found one of those baby locks that I used when they were younger. They had slid it onto the cabinet doorknobs and locked the doors together tight. My boys are so resourceful. I knew that dragging them to two scouts meeting a week would pay off some day.
Even though the creepy crawler was locked up tight as a drum my kids kept on me to get rid of it. I tried to call two of my neighbors but they were out of town, either that or they didn’t want to touch the big squashy bug either. So I said to my kids, ”Instead of stressing about it let’s look it up on the Internet.” They agreed and we were soon staring at a larger than life picture of the grotesque bug.
Yes, it turns out that Jerusalem crickets are not really crickets at all. They are not even bugs and they don’t eat potatoes. They are arthropods. I knew that if I educated myself and my boys about this hideous animal that I would dispel some myths I might be harboring and I would probably end up maybe liking them or thinking they are useful. Everything was going fine. I read that they are not venomous. They don’t eat potatoes or any other of my vegetables. They eat dead organic material and decaying root plants and tubers, (wait aren’t potatoes tubers?) Whatever.
But then I read that they can emit a foul smell and deliver a very painful bite. I looked at my boys and said, “Are you sure that cabinet is locked tightly?” After that I paid my eight year old in time on his DS to get that gross, disgusting, squishy, stinky, biting thing the %&*@#$ out of my house.
The Potato Bug saga continues, in my next post.

For more interesting reading about potato bugs or if you just want to laugh yourself silly, please visit, potatobugs.com
I took no pictures for this post because that would have meant that I would have had to get close enough to take a picture. No thank you. If you want to see a potato bug please go to the website mentioned above.

Comments

[Carol]

Can't wait to read the rest of the story... I can't believe you are afraid of this bug? When I see a bug I don't like inside, I think it is fair game to get rid of it by any means necessary... like using the vacuum cleaner.

[chigiy Binell]

Carol,
When I first read your comment about a vaccuum I thought "what a great idea, why didn't I think of that?" Then I thought if I had used a vacuum that means the bug would have still been in my house just waiting to chew through the vacuum bag and crawl up to my bedroom and chew on my cheeks. See potatobugs.com

[MrBrownThumb]

I read the post and not being familiar with what this bug looked like I was imagining all kinds of crazy looking bugs.

Then I went to your link and realized it was worse than that. My reaction at the pick can't be printed on a family friendly blog.

That has to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Is it me or does it look like someone crossed a human and a bug?

[chigiy Binell]

Mr Brown Thumb,
Now you can feel my pain. Thank you for reading my post. I'm sorry that I had to be the one to introduce you to potato bugs.
Forgive me.

[Jacqueline]

I'm with you -- give me snakes, give me rats, give me tarantulas, but I hate those Jerusalem crickets!

I scooped up a pile of laundry one day and found a big fat one lurking on the floor. Agggghhh! I want hazard pay!

Another one that I found last year chewed through ALUMINUM FOIL on top of his container and escaped. Aggghh! There were little shavings of foil around the scene of the crime.

The horror....

[Yolanda Elizabet]

After having a look at one of the pics of this infamous bug I can really feel your pain Chigiy! Good grief and ewwwwww don't begin to describe it. If I were you I would move house so you wouldn't run the risk of ever meeting such a bug in your house again. ;-)

[MrBrownThumb]

Ok you lost me after you mentioned rats. I just can't go there. I'll take a few of these big-headed monstrosities over a rat any day.

;-)

[chigiy Binell]

Yolanda Elizabet,
We are kindred spirits in the potato bug department.

Mr Brown Thumb,
We each have our fears. I'd take a furry creature over something that looks like a cross between a mutant cricket and a six legged aborted fetus any day, but they are both icky.

[Amber Shaw]

Why oh why did I go to your link and look at the pictures? I know what these look like and they gross me out too. I find them in my garage sometimes. Now I don't want to go to bed.