How to Get Your Kids to Do Their Homework.

I know now why my mother said I gave her grey hair—and why I used to call her a nag.

Homework.

I read this great book the other day called The Case Against Homework. I’m convinced that the person who invented homework never had 3rd and 5th grade boys.

I am sick of dealing with the nightly tantrums. There have been many, many nights when my 8-year-old has spent 4 ½ hours or more sitting at my kitchen table staring at his math facts—one 8 ½ by 11 inch sheet with 100 multiplication problems. Is he lazy? Is he stupid? Is he stubborn? Well let’s see—he IQ is upward of 130. He is in the gifted and talented program at school. He knows his schoolwork forward and backward.

I can understand that kids who had been held captive in school for seven hours don’t want to spend any more time chained to a desk. I imagine they would rather find an outlet for the energy. Maybe they just want to unwind, decompress, and do something that they are in control of. Even though I don’t like to hear the whining, I do understand the reason for it: He just needs a break from school.

One study shows that having dinner with their families is way better for kids—and a better predictor of educational success—than is doing homework.

My husband always tells his friends that if there were no women “men would still be living in caves.” Then he loves to add, “And we’d be happy.”

A week or so ago I was trying to prepare myself mentally for the nightly homework tantrum when an idea came to me.

I picked up my boys from school. They jumped in my car. I handed each a snack and off we went. I told them I had found a special place to do their homework. I told them that I would take them there if they promised to do their homework without an argument. They agreed.

Off we went to a park about ten miles from our house up in the Santa Cruz Mountains called Castle Rock Park.

My kids happily hauled their backpacks up hill for ½ a mile to Castle Rock. They ran around, climbed, jumped, crawled, hopped, and then found a cave, curled up inside and actually did their homework. They had gotten everything they needed—physical exercise, fun time with the family, and something to break up the monotony of the day.

As they finished their homework it was getting dark. We hiked back to the car. On the way home we talked about the day.

Later that evening we had dinner together.

I know that this isn’t feasible to do everyday but the idea can be used as a template and used again
with different activities.  

What did I learn? Surprise them. Make it worth it to them to do their homework in exchange for big physical fun.

Make deals

 

Stumble It!

Comments

[Carol]

I'd do homework again if I could go along with you all to that beautiful park!

Great idea.

[Genie]

Chigiy, I would definitely do homework if it involved an activity like that -- I agree with Carol. That's brilliant! It looks gorgeous, too...what a fabulous park.

I really enjoyed your Peru Gardens photo gallery in your sidebar -- what stunning pictures!

[misti]

Awesome idea! I always procrastinated with my homework as well. Math was always the worst. My dad would show me how to do a problem the opposite way the teacher did and I just got more confused!

[kate]

That's a great idea, although I think homework is a vastly over-rated activity. I used to be diligent for the first few years and then decided I'd had it. I am glad that I never made an issue of it with my kid - although it used to be this huge issue among parents. If my son didn't do his homework, well I figured it wouldn't kill him.

By grade 7, he did it on his own. He still does in grade 10. (I have a thing about this North American need to micro-manage our kids' lives instead of letting them run outside and just hang out doing nothing.)

Happy holidays! I'm looking forward to sleeping in and eating chocolate.

[chigiy]

Carol,
Me too.
Genie,
The park is so beautiful and it's about 15 minutes from our house. I hardly ever go there. It's one of those things that you don't visit because it's in your own back yard.
Thanks for visiting my peru photos.
I really enjoyed your Secret Garden peice(s).

Misti,
I can relate to your dad. My kids show me their math homework and I just stare at it, feel stupid and drool on myself because they are taught completely differently than when I went to school. Then I just tell them to go show their dad.

Kate,
You have a very healthy attitude about homework. Kids should run around more and not be cooped up doing homework, especially boys.

[Dee/reddirtramblings]

Brilliant idea. I have a boy who is now older, but at those ages, we fought the homework thing every night. He still doesn't like school. He is bored, but he doesn't fight it anymore. He is almost thirteen.