The Gardeners Anonymous Blog

How to Get Paid A Thousand Dollars

Have you ever lost a thousand dollars? I just did, and boy do I feel stupid.

I thought I was so smart and so green and so groovy. I decided to xeriscape my rental house. There was at least 2,000 square feet of lawn that I ripped out to replace with a low-water landscape. I’m so cool. At least I thought so—until a neighbor walked up to me and said, “Did you know that the county will give you a rebate for ripping out your lawn and installing drought-tolerant plantings?” 

Now I feel really smart, not only am I doing something really good for the environment—I’m going to get money back for doing my good deed.

My neighbor gave me a number for the county. I thought I was set. I dialed the phone. I talked to a nice gentleman who gently but very efficiently deflated my ego and my wallet by telling me that the county must be notified before the lawn is ripped out.

The inspector needs to examine the lawn and the irrigation system, and look at your water bill. The county will give you a rebate of a dollar a square foot up to $1,000. I had over 2,000 square feet of lawn, but the lawn, along with its irrigation system had already been ripped out. 

And that is how I lost $1,000. 

If you are planning to rip out your lawn to install a water-wise landscape, and you live in Santa Clara County, please call before you rip out your lawn. Be prepared to supply a copy of your water bill.

Cash-for-grass programs are available in many counties in California and in other states. If you live in an area that is prone to drought—or even an area that isn’t—check with your local water district to see if they provide a landscape rebate program.

Stumble It!

Homeless Ferns

It has been hard for me to get it all done lately.

O.K., I’ll say it: I am not organized.

I dug up these ferns three days ago from a yard I am redesigning. I was going to plant them in my yard and here they sit.

Poor things, yanked out by their roots, only to be left in a bucket by a scattered, over-scheduled ninny.

I really don’t know when I will have a time to plant them.

I have a place to plant them but no time. Here they sit just feet from their new home. Oh well.

Sorry, little wayward ferns, but I’m busy.

Who are these people anyway? These women with four or five kids, each one in a different after-school sport. Who are these women who work part time and chair school functions, who give dinner parties, who have perfect bodies and hair and clothes and cars? Who are these people who drive their kids to school and grocery shop and make all the meals, I mean — actually cook —and not microwave. The ones who pay the bills and do their taxes? Who are these women who take showers every day? Do you know who they are?

That’s right, they are not me. 

I am currently working on three-and-a-half landscaping projects.

I have been trying not to eat out anymore and that right there is hard. For heaven’s sake we used to eat out at least eight or nine meals a week. That was before the economy went to heck. Now I don’t even buy lattes every day.

The combination of inadequate caffeine and kitchen slavery may play a part in the almost certain demise of these ferns. Please don’t turn me into the Fern-Cruelty Hotline. 

I’m a good person — just busy.

Garden Blogger's Bloom Day October 2008

Once again I'll say it in photos.

Green Thumb Sunday: The Mystical First Rain of Fall.

It’s a very exciting evening here in Northern California. It’s about to rain. It’ll be the first rain of the season. You can smell it in the air. You can feel the pressure and the dampness.

If I were a horse I would be running around kicking up my heels. I feel like a little kid.

I want to make hot chocolate and sit by the fire. I settled for making pumpkin cake with my oldest son. We added chocolate chips and pecans. We ate it while it was still steaming. I haven’t eaten something so decadent since before my surgery.

It is now pouring outside, quite a change from the last four months.
The ground isn’t soaking it up as I expecting. It’s an unusual rain for this time of year. It is a moderated rainfall, the kind that makes cars slip and slide on the roadway. There are big shallow puddles and steamy fog everywhere.

My garden will be so happy.

We’re Back And We’re...Bewildered

Gardeners Anonymous is back from a mental health break. I truthfully don’t know what that means because I feel every bit as confused and anxious and scared and unsure and nervous. What is all this about? I don’t know.

Gosh, we could speculate, let’s see, major surgery, medication adjustments, pre-election jitters, stock market free-fall, turning-50 stress, economy-in-dumpster anxieties, investments circling toilet, death-of-two-friends sadness, husband crashed three cars madness, kids’ grades, homework, dog’s sick, flu, and, and, and.

Honestly, I could go on. But aren’t all of our lives this complicated? Am I just a whiner?

Whatever, here’s what else has been going on. I am xeriscaping my mom’s property. The sixty-year-old lawn and sprinkler system finally gave up the ghost, so I decided to do something good for the environment—and my wallet.

Another of my orchids bloomed, and I found out that the orchids I purchased at that garage sale have scale. And I thought I was so smart. At least I learned a lot. I am currently trying to save them– we’ll see.

I am trying to get my personal gardening and design business off the ground.

I am growing more succulent pots and hitting up all the fall plant sales. Here in California fall is a very good time to plant.

I had my own garage sale. It was really an exercise in removing useless crap from my life and not a moneymaking venture. It was great. I cleaned out one and a half storage spaces and made $150.

I would have made more but I’m not negotiator. I sold my old mountain bike for five bucks. Hey, it beats a trip to Goodwill. And the guy who bought it was so excited. He kept riding it around my yard. Dude, just give me the five bucks and scram--I have more useless crap to get rid of.

My summer veggie garden is winding down and it’s time to plant my fall garden.  My plans to plant include a neighborhood wide community garden.

More on this soon. It’s good to be back.