Squash Are Sneaky

Some vegetables can be trusted and some can’t, but squash are the worst—especially zucchini.

Oh yeah, you can’t turn your back on zucchini for a moment, because if you do, they multiply.

They’re like Tribbles.

It is that time of the year when desperate neighbors knock on your door with their arms full of the long dark green fruit, (yes, it is technically a fruit.).

Frantically, they ask if you want some zucchini. “No” you say because your zucchini plant, Big Bertha, has about a hundred zucchini on it. The zucchini hide under their ample broad leaves and secretly grow really big so just when you think you have harvested all your zucchinis, you move one of the generous leaves, and there it is—another colossal green bludgeon.

What do you do with that thing?

Visions of riding down a country road hanging out of the passenger side of a ’76 Ford F-250 pickup, swinging the gargantuan squash at farmhouse mailboxes and knocking them off their wooden posts come to mind.

But instead, you pick it.

Or should I say you cut away at the gigantic shaft that it uses to attach itself to Bertha. First you try to pawn it off on a neighbor, but they already have a lifetime supply, so you dutifully try to cook it, scraping out the middle and making a stuffed zucchini with it. Your kids protest, so you eat the lions share, showing them that, damn it, it’s good and healthy and, and we grew it and we’re going to eat it.

So there.

My friend Elise from Simply Recipes has some great recipes perfect for using up your sneaky zucchini. One of my favorites is zucchini and tomato breakfast casserole. It really is good and healthy and a great way to use up your zucchini. She also has a couple of recipes for stuffed zucchini.

Here are some suggestions for getting rid of your zucchini

1. Have a zucchini party where you only eat dishes with zucchini.

2. Have a zucchini raffle where you sell tickets for a dollar apiece and the winner gets to have all your extra zucchini.

3. Play doorbell ditch with all your neighbors where you ring their doorbell and you leave your extra zucchini in a basket on their porch.

4. Scoop out your zucchini and make boats from them and race them, giving the winner all the zucchinis that are left.

5. Set up a table in front of Safeway and have your kids sell all your zucchini cheaper than Safeway.

6. Have a zucchini dress up party, where all your friends get together, drink heavily and dress up your excess zucchini, giving the person with the best-dressed zucchini all the rest of the zucchini.

7. Make zucchini-o-lanterns where you scoop out the insides of your zucchinis and carve faces in them and then place little votive candles on the inside of the zucchini-o-lanterns, lighting them from the inside—at which point you place them on your front porch.

Stumble It!

Comments

[misti]

I've not had luck with curcurbits, but I am envious of yours!

[chigiy]

Misti,

I will dress one up in a cute outfit and send it to you:)

[Kalyn]

I'm laughing because I have that problem too, even though Utah had such a cold spring this year that all the plants are not producing as much as usual. I'm going to try zucchini carpaccio today!

[Gina Bommarito]

I guess I will try to grow them next year, sounds easy. ( I am not a green thumb). This year I can take some off your load! ;-)

[chigiy]

Kalyn,
Zucchini are unstoppable.
You have some lovely recipes on your site I'll have to go and peek at your carpaccio recipe.

Gina,
I'd be happy to bring you some zucchini.