The Gardeners Anonymous Blog

Elaine!...Elaine!...Don't Run Out of Pavers!

 


Almost to the church

It feels like that scene in The Graduate where Benjamin’s trying to stop Elaine from getting married, so he gets in his Alfa Spyder and drives toward the church.

He’s almost there and—the Alpha starts to run out of gas—and the music starts to go slower and slower—and Benjamin jumps out of the Alpha—and starts to run down the street—and he’s running—and sweating—and sweating—and running.

I’m in that running and sweating stage.

Only I’m running—and now I’m in one of those dreams—those dreams where you’re trying to run away—from some monster—and you feet won’t move—or your feet move—but you can’t get anywhere—and the monster is right on top of you—and you can’t get away—and right before he eats you—you wake up.

Only I can’t wake up because I’m awake and staring at my driveway that is 80 percent done with the words of my contractor ringing in my ear.

The words he has spoken to me so many times:

“Of course we have enough pavers.”

Fail

Dirty Doggy Driveway Dishevelment: Day 9

Two weeks ago, my landscaping contractor told me that if
I went ahead with my driveway paver stones project; he could have it done by Christmas.

Knowing that we were headed for nasty weather, I doubted that the driveway would really be finished. But there was just something so tempting about having a finished driveway for Christmas.

It’s going to be dumping buckets of rain on Christmas day but the thought of looking out of my warm dry house—filled with the aroma of wet dog—and seeing that driveway I’ve waited six years for.

So I gave the O.K. to the project, and now my contractor is on a mission.

We’ll see if he completes it in time.


Little Ruby stands in the middle of the driveway of mud and looks at me as if to say "why?"

Dirt Cheap

I hate paying full price for things.

So, you can only imagine what happens to my penny-pinching persona when I have to shell out big bucks for such things as landscaping, drainage, and construction at my house. I’m not organized to be my own contractor, so I have to think of other ways to get a better deal.

As I don’t know a ton about concrete work, most of my methods are emotional. Like the ten percent flinch, or the trade—“would you like that old stove? It’s an antique. It’s been sitting in the driveway for a couple years sure but that rust should come right off.” “How ‘bout that old 82’ Toyota truck in the back yard. It hasn’t run since 2005 but I think it just needs a head gasket.”

Along with barter and psychological sales ploys, I also have these ultra intelligent thoughts like “Hey, I think I’ll wait until December when landscapers really need the work—and hire them at a cheaper rate.

I’ll wait until there’s a week of non-stop heavy rain.

Yeah! I’ll wait till Christmas break, until my dog-sitting business is at it’s peak, until the day of my Christmas party, until my kids and husband are home with cabin fever, until I have thirty-six paws trampling driveway mud through my house and into my Persian rugs and new wood floors at all hours of the day.

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

Someday soon I’ll have a driveway.

A Pleasant Surprise

 

Is seems that lately all I’ve been doing in my yard lately is picking up dog feces.

My usually beautiful garden has that dismal, wintry, disheveled look. There is a layer of decaying fall leaves over the vegetable beds.

I’ve spent my limited energy on dogs and boys and I haven’t even pulled out my decomposing tomatoes and squash. Maybe if I leave it long enough they will go to seed and I won’t have to propagate or buy new plants for next year.

It’s not like I haven’t actually done that in the past.

I’ve let plants rot many times in the past—until they’ve turned to soup and then sprouted in the spring. Of course by then I have no idea what they are until the fruit comes.

My dog sitting business has been building up steam while my garden withers away. A dozen projects sit unfinished in the yard while I walk, feed, clean, brush and love my dogs. My garden is sad and depressed and unloved, but every once in while I come across a surprise.
 
I purchased this plant at a garage sale and it has never bloomed until now.

Who knew? It blooms in the winter!